Rules for Driving in Sydney

Sydney drivers suck balls. I mean they really suck. Road rules tend to be guidelines for these people. I've been driving around for a few years here now, and it seems the real road rules are something like this...

1. Always accelerate as fast as possible at any point in time. If your foot is not to the floor, you're not driving.

2. Always drive at least 10km above the speed limit. You're not tough otherwise.

3.Always drive around with your hand on the horn, in case someone isn't speeding or accelerating fast enough. Also use when you get to traffic lights, pedestrian crossings and anywhere you are obliged to stop.

4. If someone isn't accelerating fully, tail gate them for as long as possible while using aforementioned horn and flashing high beams.

5. Always follow the car in front as close as possible.

6. Indication is entirely optional. Feel free to swerve dangerously between lanes as often as possible without letting anyone around you know.

7. 4 Drink minimum for driving at night.

8. If driving with friends in the car, drive more erratically to impress them.

9. If you see a female while you have aforementioned friends in the car, beep repeatedly at it and yell incoherently out the windows. This will impress them...

10. If you are ever pulled over by the police for speeding, drink driving, dangerous driving, manslaughter, etc, it's entirely the cops fault. They entrapped you and are just giving you a ticket for government revenue raising. A suspended license is only a warning though, so feel free to continue driving LIKE A FUCKWIT.


rant over.