Kayne West Has No Idea

This is a quote by Kanye West taken from pitchfork.com:

"I LOOK AT OUR CURRENT SUPERSTARS LIKE LEGENDS IN THE MAKING... LIKE JUSTIN IS THE NEW MIKE , BEYONCE'S THE NEW TINA TURNER, GAGA'S MADONNA, JAY IS SINATRA... WAYNE IS HENDRIX, THOM YORKE IS ROGER WATERS, THESE ARE THE CHAMPIONS AND SHOULD BE DOCUMENTED AS SUCH."

Now, there's so much wrong with this statement it could fill a museum, but the part I'd like to focus on is "Lil Wayne is Jimi Hendrix".

LIL WAYNE DOESN'T PLAY GUITAR!!!! He probably doesn't even know what the fucking blues are! There is no connection what so ever between that douche and one of the most important icons in music history. People are not going to look back in 30 years time and say "lil wayne. The world would be a different place without him. He changed everything we knew about music and performance".

The only thing that could link the two is if Lil Wayne dies at 27. But that's just wishful thinking.

Please shut the fuck up Kanye. You have no idea.


The Vignettes

My Lady Ga Ga interview! ZOMG

The pop sensation that is Lady Ga Ga was in town recently, and I of all people had the distinct pleasure of interviewing her! Since I work in a record store (of sorts) I'm familiar with her work, and I've been listening very closely to the lyrics. As I read deeper and deeper into them, I stumbled across some of the most complex and ambiguous metaphors in modern music history. Upon discovering these, I knew I had to question her on this matter.

J - "Good evening Ms Ga Ga, thanks for joining me"

LGG - "Oh it's my pleasure. I just love Rolling Stone magazine!"

J - "...yes. I totally work for rolling stone..."

LGG - "totez"

J - "indeed. NOW! I wanted to ask you about some of your lyrics. For starters, in 'Just Dance' you boldly state "doo-doo-n-doo doo, just dance". Now this is a powerful metaphor on mankind's perception of itself in the universe, all alone. Yet there are so many of us pondering the meaning of our existence, and we should come together in a melding of minds to perhaps solve this riddle in a trible gathering, and finally answer the question, 'what is the meaning of life?'. Would you like to expand on this?"

LGG - "...what?"

J - "Come now, you're just being modest. It's just like in 'Boys boys boys' where you subtley introduce your listeners to the idea of string theory while giving them a basic idea on quantam mechanics. Can you give us a more detailed explanation on these complex theories now?"

LGG - "What are you talking about?! String? The songs' about hot boys"

J - "On the surface! Just like in "There's nothing else I can say, ay ay" where you pontificate the everyman's dilemna of expressing his complex musings without excess verbiage - and there are some very confronting anti-abortion messages throughout. What do you have to say for yourself on that count?"

LGG - "Who asks these questions? This music's just to dance to and make me richer than I already was. Who the hell would want to know these things anyway?!"

J - "The intelligent listening community. People like myself..."

LGG - "well I guess this music isn't for people like you"

THERE YOU HAVE IT! Straigt from that trashy, retro rip-off, narcissistic, self indulgent, no pants wearing horses mouth. Lady Ga Ga is not for intelligent people!


On top of those previoulsy mentioned lyric gems are

"Don't want love just give me your bling bling,
Listen to me boy cause i need your thing thing"

"Our hair is perfect
While were all getting shit wrecked
It's automatic, honey
But we got no money"

"I'm not loose, I like to party
Let's get lost in your Ferrari
Not psychotic or dramatic
I like boys and that is that
Love it when you call me legs
In the morning buy me eggs
Watch your heart when we're together
Boys like you love me forever
Boys boys boys
We like boys in cars
Boys boys boys
Buy us drinks in bars
Boys boys boys
With hairspray and denim
Boys boys boys
We love them!"

BULLSHIT! All of it. Oh well, I've had my rant.




*Note: I may have made this up. But wasn't it fun?

Joel

The Vignettes